I love my country. I've traveled to many other countries and to every United State, but South Dakota. I'm not too young, nor too old, to be tainted by too little, or too much, history. I don’t remember Vietnam or WWII, though I know a few of it’s soldiers. I don’t know social media all that well and I didn’t live my youth under a web of lights, camera and action.
I sit in the middle. A person who like to live her life through experience and experiment. I'm curious more than I am radical. I like to get my feet on the soil of this country and other countries to walk in the shoes, legs, hearts, minds of my fellow humans.
With every thing that I am, I love humanity.
I love that we are all different. That we smell different, feel different, act different, look different, think different and behave different. That we may not have the same color skin, vote for the same party, or fall in love with the same sex of people, we are so close in our experiences, curiosities and ways of thinking that we are brothers and sisters and husbands and wives. Our blending as profound as our separation. I need not prove this to a stranger. I don't need the masses behind me. Those I love and befriend know this and celebrate it with me. Yet, somehow there is a surging energy that I feel part of making me wonder if I have to do more, be more, express more, shout more, explode more, shake the tree, ruffle the feathers, issue my stances and do something, anything to better understand this strangeness.
Have I gone too quiet? Too isolated? Too into myself? Or out?
I believe in momentum. I believe that things don’t appear out of nowhere. Coincidence? No such thing. Coincidence means I wasn’t paying enough attention. I believe I am energy first. That I have this vibe that I need to manage because it is what sets my and the tone. If I feel off, off shit happens and keeps happening. If I feel happy, beautiful surprises present—like I’m in this state of ready for anything good. If I feel scared, worried, alarmed, freaked out, nothing goes right for me and my anxiety escalates. I’m not preaching here. If you don’t believe that, I respect that.
Believing I am energy above all, makes me feel liberated, which I cherish. I hate trapped. Emotionally, physically, spiritually. I cannot be caged. Who can? At this strange moment in time, I find this way of being essential because then I know, for sure, no matter what, that we are equal. Equality matters. It infuriates, and hurts, me to think that anyone thinks, sees, acts, or believes that they are more, or less, than another.
That is a story whose time has run out.
I’m carbon, You’re carbon. I’m hydrogen. You’re hydrogen. I’m cells. You’re cells. I’m potential energy. You’re potential energy. All of us the same stuff as dogs, cats, trees, dirt, oil, and anything else you break down and examine.
What sets us apart are our stories. Those choices we make along the way and let define us. None more right than wrong. Simply decisions. To decide is to live. You may hate me, condemn me, ridicule me, but that’s on you, not me. I don’t do that to anyone. The price is too high. When I attempt to destroy another, even in the smallest degree, I destroy me. Plain and simple: I am that which I chose to do.
So then what? Do I let go of my frustration and confusion and consternation over strange times devour me? Do I make a plan to rise? Do I shout and stir and wriggle and rattle out of utter disbelief that inequality on every level is the norm? Or do I let go of my knowing that lawlessness destroys a culture, a people, a way of American being that I am so uniquely proud of I cannot stand to see it crack, much less shatter?
I do not know.
So I listen.
For me to hear them more clearly.
To be open to the tone, to the energy.
What is to me corruption, to others, is negotiation.
What to me is stupidity, to others, genius.
What to me is separation, to others, is unity.
What to me is anger, heat, and hostility, to others, is expression, passion, and devotion.
What to me is a divide, to others, is a bridge.
What to me is not okay, to others, is perfection.
We are all different and we are all equal. I'm not about to do anything that might diminish that. Are you?